My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize