Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize