his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
