You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
