We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize