Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
