So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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