some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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