More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
