He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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