normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
