i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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