Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
