My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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