I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
