Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
