A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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