While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
