I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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