I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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