Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize