What did we do last night that was yellow?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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