you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Randomize
