Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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