please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Randomize
