That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
