the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We are two peas in an std pod
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
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