Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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