I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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