You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
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It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize