Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I just threw up on my dentist
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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