Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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