her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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