The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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