I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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