just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
