Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
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the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
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That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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