bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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