yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I need to stop coming to work sober
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
