too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
