Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize