Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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