I want to have your abortion
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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