what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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