I must be too annoying 4 u.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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