dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
