Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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