she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
