I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
