so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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