I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
