Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
is wine microwaveable?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
