We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
