My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
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