Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
