big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
