I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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