OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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