Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i will never coherently bang her
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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