I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
