If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
