P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
