I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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