Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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