They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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