sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
