That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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