Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize